Itching to speak?? .. pause ..

As part of one meeting, the members were sharing some interesting stuff, and if I had a similar thing to share, I could see this instinct take over to interject and say what I wanted to say because I felt that it was important.

I call this the "ITCH" to make one's presence felt by talking and contributing. This is very counterproductive to having a rapport and connecting with the other person.

Once we are under the grip of this ITCH to talk, for the next few moments until that desire is fulfilled, the focus is not on what the other person is saying but on when I get the chance to speak. Being under the sway of this impulse, we may end up not listening to what the other person is saying as we are running our own story of what to say in our head.

By being mindful we could pay attention to this ITCH, acknowledge it and let it go. If we could tap this, we can make our presence felt, not every time by saying what we want to say, but by being there and listening very intently to the other person. We can make our presence felt by offering our complete undivided attention to the other person.

Because we are not able to regulate this ITCH, sometimes we go ahead and interrupt the other person and then say " Sorry to interrupt" 😁. So in that meeting, I let go of my ITCH, and offered my attention to the other person and I could learn something from it.

This ITCH can be even stronger when we are in disagreement with the other person and it's a real test to let our guards down and listen. I think being aware of our impulses and regulating them is a prelude to offering our total presence and empathising with the other person.